The best things in life are free.

Hello lovely readers,

This post is gonna look a little different from my previous ones. Chris Guillebeau over at Art of Non-Conformity is doing a social experiment, asking his readers to offer up something for free. I've been offering my services to a few friends, and I wanted to extend my offer to ya'll to participate in this experiment.

How to participate:
Have you had the experience of knowing you're on to something? You're sure this is an amazing idea, story, concept, etc. In your mind it all makes sense and is too powerful to deny. Yet when you put pen to paper, something is amiss. You got some elements on the page, but it doesn't match the vision in your mind....yet...

If you are beginning a project, writing an article, or adding content to your webpage and you know it can be better, but your confused about how to make it better or about just what the heck you're trying to say, send it my way.

The one any only caveat is that you must submit a document of some sort. My strength is in working with documents as a means to work with people. I may give feedback via skype or a phone chat, but I don't excel at working things out with people, exclusively via conversation. I'm a visual person, I need to see it or read it first, have time to digest and get some perspective.

What I'm offering:
My services as a Deep Editor. I give feedback using a combination of my skills from NVC which help me to be objective and compassionate and my creative problem solving abilities as The Imaginator. This basically means, I see where you're coming from and what you mean first. Then I work to punch it up. I want your ideas to shine in service of your vision.

Are you in?
Send your document and a blurb about yourself and your project to marykoppes at gmail dot com and let's get started.

Photo Credit: erica noel

Human-Centered Resumes (are the way of the future!)

Since I attended StartingBloc mid-February, I've been full of excitement, ideas, and energy. One major benefit of attending SB is that I got some perspective on a personal blind-spot. I was among a group of 100+ do-ers n' entrepreneurs. 

Though I think of myself as more of a be-er than a do-er, the blind-spot that I got some insight into was my own ideas ---> action gap. Sometimes I have "good" ideas but they seem "minor," so instead of taking them seriously and pursuing them, I just dream up more ideas. Having some insight into this blind-spot has piqued my curiosity about what would happened if I fully explored even one of these "good" ideas. 

Follow thru, baby.

To make this all more concrete...

I've had numerous conversations with folks in the past several months about the process of applying for jobs, constructing resumes, writing cover letters and interviewing. I'm (f)unemployed and so are a number of folks I know so these kinds of conversations surface frequently.

In all my conversations about the job-hunting process, I've never heard anyone say, "I love it. I wish I could be a professional job applicant. Chronological resumes make my heart sing!" 

I myself may have used a couple expletives in expressing my views on the topic. My frustration has fueled what I'm now calling The Human-Centered Resume project. It's part of my practice of harnessing the power of "negative" energy and channeling it into building something better which, along the way, converts the "negative" quality into a "positive" one. It also shines the light on my blind-spot.

Bi-product: Happier Mary. Happier world.

So this: 

"I f*&%ing hate searching for jobs. It's so $#%&ing frustrating to make a resume that reflects who I am." (Full disclosure: I was stuck in this thought process for about two months.)

Became this: 

What would a swoon-worthy resume and job-hunting process look like? Why am I so irked by the current process? Considering those irksome properties, how can I build something better that eliminates them?

Then I actually started to build it... The Human-Centered Resume was born.

Let's start by examining the logic of the current resume model...

.

I call it: 
The Skills-Based Resume. 

It treats WHAT, WHEN, and WHERE as the 3 KINGS. 

The message is:

WHAT I’ve done in the past, WHEN I did it , and WHERE I did it are the best indicators of my ability to succeed in the position I’m applying for.

On the resume itself, this looks like:

A description of duties in previous positions and/or professional titles (WHAT) 

Displayed in reverse chronological order, showing "progression" in career (WHEN) 

Headed up by the name of the organization & the physical location (WHERE)

Here comes the irksome part.

WHO I am as person, WHY I chose to do the the things on my resume, and HOW I went about doing them is:

a) considered irrelevant and ignored

b) matters (at least a little) and is assumed to be reasonably well derived from looking at the 3 KINGS

or

c) we’ll figure it out if we decide to interview or hire you whether we want to or not (e.g. Damn, that guy's got a a major anger problem. His work is brilliant but it sucks working with him. Who knew?!)

Taken alone I was irked that the WHO, WHY and HOW are exiled from the resume kingdom by the 3 KINGS. So my frustration was compounded when I realized that the resume-exchange and hiring process are but a microcosm of (and entry point into) the whole dehumanizing* system of workplace organizations. 

Build a Better System AKA (to SB LA '13-ers) "Show 'em the clean glass of water!"

In the Human-Centered Resume, WHO, WHY and HOW are the 3 KINGS.

The message is:

WHO I am as a person, WHY I chose my past experiences, and HOW I went about doing them drives WHAT I've done, WHERE I did it and WHEN I did it. Therefore WHO, WHY and HOW  are the best indicators of my ability to succeed in the job I'm applying for.

Here's a side-by-side comparison.

On the resume itself this look like:

STAY TUNED! The next post will reveal the secrets of Human-Centered Resumes. They really are the way of the future, folks.

 

*My intention in using the word "dehumanizing" isn't to trigger ya. I mean it as literally as possible. We are literally reduced, in our resumes, to skill sets, past experiences, dates, titles, etc.  I think that even in the least human-friendly organizations there are elements of humanism, but on the whole organizations (especially large ones) take on a bureaucratic tone and are essentially dehumanizing. Read some Max Weber.

Bob Dylan can't sing or play guitar.

"Sing in your own voice. Picasso was a terrible colorist. Turner couldn’t paint human beings worth a damn. Saul Steinberg’s formal drafting skills were appalling. T.S. Eliot had a full-time day job. Henry Miller was a wildly uneven writer. Bob Dylan can’t sing or play guitar.

But that didn’t stop them, right?

So I guess the next question is, “Why not?”

I have no idea. Why should it? No one person can be good at everything. The really good artists, the really successful entrepreneurs, figure out how to circumvent their limitations, figure out how to turn their weaknesses into strengths. The fact that Turner couldn’t draw human beings very well left him no choice but to improve his landscape paintings, which have no equal.

Had Bob Dylan been more of a technical virtuoso, he might not have felt the need to give his song lyrics such power and resonance.

Don’t make excuses. Just shut the hell up and get on with it. Time waits for no one."

Hugh MacLeod 

From Ignore Everyone: and 39 Other Keys to Creativity which I would recommend for anyone who is or wants to be creative...or who is breathing. 

Photo Credit: brizzle born and bred

(de)LIBERATE yourself.

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I’ve been thinking, writing and talking about some version of deliberate living for a while. Sometimes I call it choice-full living, conscious living, living on purpose, intentional living. I also love Chris Guillebeau’s conception of these similar ideas—he calls it the Art of Non-Conformity. It's true, living deliberately is a non-conformist act.

The main reason I chose to use the world deliberate is because of what is contained within it—deLIBERATE.

Living intentionally and being choice-full about our decisions, actions, and behaviors liberates us from the status quo and from acting in accordance with amorphous but well understood societal expectations we may or may not resonate with.

Being in touch with our deepest values, frees our mindspace from drama, worry, anxiety, confusion, and angst that are often brought on trying to “live up” to expectations that we ourselves never consciously chose for ourselves. These are replaced by a mindful awareness of what’s most important to us, which guides us along choice by choice, moment by moment, and which grows in parallel to our conviction to act in alignment with our beliefs.

Guided by an internal compass, we are free from trying to follow the single route on the societal map to success—a sadly one-size-fits-all formula for a population of wildly unique individuals.

 Photo Credit: Walt Stoneburner

The Good Life.

I lived for two summers in a beautiful and surprisingly lively (for population 63!)  remote mountain town in central Idaho. I was a part of the influx of seasonal summer staffers, the majority of whom worked on the Salmon River as raft guides (I was a cook). Since business is weather-dependent and summer only lasts so long, the work in town was condensed into an intense three or four month period. We worked hard. But most folks also played hard. Really hard. And as we were drinking beers with our feet dangling in the beautiful mountain lakes or river with the sound of bluegrass music playing in the background, it was inevitable that someone said, "Ahhhh. The good life." Or "livin' the dream!"

I am quite fond of those particular moments of camaraderie, relaxation after 10 hours of hot and heavy kitchen work, and taking in scenes of unparalleled beauty. However in my head there was a caveat..."the good life...for now..." I felt like there was more out there. Especially in terms of what I can contribute. I've been privy to tremendous blessings in my life. Sure it feels awesome to soak all that in and live in a bliss bubble. But there's been a nagging feeling that I'm meant to be doing more.

Even before my adventures in Idaho, I thought quite a lot about a life well lived—what that means, what that looks like. On the path to finding answers, I got a B.A. in Sociology, went to graduate school to investigate further and dropped out of graduate school to investigate even further in the school of life.

Philosophers, psychologist, sociologist, and lay people tend to agree on the components of "the good life".

To live the good life, we basically need two things:

·      good relationships or love and

·      meaningful work which I think of as a sense of contribution plus purpose or meaning

As I’ve learned though my daily practice with meditation, simple and easy are far from one and the same.

This opens up a whole host of questions about how to cultivate good relationships. How do we connect in meaningful ways with people? And questions about purpose. What is meaningful work and how do we find or create it? How do we know what our purpose is? Or worse, what if we know our purpose(s) and can’t see how it could possibly ever support meeting our material needs?

Much of the reason driving this blog and my writings, are reflections on my experiences and experiments with striving for a live well lived. I’m so happy you’re joining me on this adventure, and I sure do hope you find some benefit here.

Photo Credit: jasoneppink

Gotta do it.

What if you showed up to your life as if by threat of firing or, better yet, by promise of promotion, success, fame, etc.?

Maybe you’re thinking, “Well, Mary, sorry to disappoint you but I don’t really take my work that seriously.” I feel ya. I’d also be willing to guess, though, that you show up the vast majority of days that you’re scheduled to do so (and you probably have a schedule) and when you can’t show up, you call in or get your shift/work covered for that time period. I imagine you think some about your work outside of your work hours and do some “planning” even if that just translates to picking out your outfit for the day or packing you lunch.

You probably don’t even realize the many things you do that are part of taking your work seriously….even if you hate your job.

And that’s what I’m asking you to do with your passions, with those things that you “wish you had more time for” or that you “really want to do but (insert excuse here).” We don’t often find ourselves making excuses for why we can’t go to work today. And it feels justified because that’s our livelihood. That’s how we pay the bills. Nevertheless, that feeling of obligation, of “just gotta do it” is something that we self-impose (which is, no doubt, buttressed by a host of outside influences). We made it up harnessing the power of our minds. And, congratulations on that one, because it’s powerful.

We can use this ability we've created in our minds, the "gotta do it" attitude and the actions and behaviors springing from it, and use it in ways that serve us by transferring it to the work or projects that you feel drawn to and inspired by (talents, passion, purposed-based projects). If this feels overwhelming, do a micromovment. Commit yourself to experimenting with this for, say, 10 minutes a day for a whole week. To keep going beyond this, notice how this "pays off" in terms of your mood or level of energy or inspiration. (Here's why.) Depending on what your passion is, it might also pay off monetarily (e.g. selling handmade wares on Etsy).

What project do you gotta work on this week?

That's what I want.

Where do you see yourself in one-year? Five-years? Thirty years? We are encouraged to think about these things, set goals, and create strategies (we usually call them “plans”) to achieve them. For me this is an anxiety provoking activity because it directs my thinking only to professional accomplishments (the career path) and to specific personal accomplishments that are linked to things (buying a house, buying a nice car, buying a boat) or to fulfilling cultural norms (getting married, taking sweet vacations, having kids, etc).

Though thinking about where we want our career and personal lives to go can certainly be useful, I wonder why we don’t spend time reflecting on who and how we want to be in addition to what we want to have.

Especially because when we think of what we want to have or accomplish, it points directly to how we want to be, what we need and value and, the big one, how we want to feel.

What we want is directly related to the feeling we believe we will experience when we get it.

Here’s a personal example:

When I was a student, I never wanted to cease being a student. I excelled in the academic environment and was rewarded with good grades. Naturally, I decided to extend my education, attend college and then graduate school. Being a professor, I thought, would be supremely awesome because I’d get paid to hang out forever in the academic world.

There was one problem though. I hated graduate school. It was a rude awakening for me about politics in academia. It wasn’t just about learning, researching, reading, and teaching. I slogged it out for two years enduring all kinds of physical ailments (a good indicator for me that I’m out of alignment with my values) and mental anguish. It was difficult, but I finally decided to leave.

This happened four years ago and it’s taken all four of those years (and the 23 before them) for me to understand that graduate school and academia was a strategy.

It wasn’t that I wanted the PhD or the career of a professor, per say. It was that I assumed that those things would give me: a sense of purpose, fulfillment, and contribution, meaning in my life, a constant well of creativity and stimulation in ways that mattered to me, and a whole host of other things that would meet needs that I have. And when those needs were met I’d be happy.

It was difficult and devastating to make the decision to leave graduate school and walk into the great Unknown because I was so attached to that strategy as “the one” that would lead to happiness.

What’s so expansive to realize now is that there are infinite strategies that can stimulate the feelings we want to be feeling and to contribute to the needs we are trying to meet. The key is to be in touch with what we want to be feeling and then to examine many elements of our lives and ask ourselves: Are these activities bringing me more into alignment with the feelings I want to feel, or less? And then, make changes accordingly.

How do you want to feel?