Rearview Mirror Syndrome

“…(Marshall McLuhan) contends that most of us are incapable of understanding the impact of new media because we are like drivers whose gaze is fixed not on where we are going but on where we came from. It is not even a matter of seeing through the windshield but darkly. We are seeing clearly enough, but we are looking in the rearview mirror.”*

The usefulness and insight of this metaphor extends well beyond new media.

It is one of the ways we get stuck on the path to a more deliberate and happier life. We see ourselves and our corner of the world through the rearview mirror.

Looking through the rearview mirror, we see or create continuity in our lives, firming up a dynamic self often in ways that do not serve us. When we keep looking backward, it is easy to get stuck in who we’ve been, what we’ve done, and what we’ve had. We start to think this is who we are, what we’re capable of and what we deserve. Period.

What about looking forward through the windshield and imagining new possibilities for ourselves and our lives, challenging ourselves to be, do or have more than we have been, done or had in the past? Even in the absence of “evidence” from our lived experience that this is possible.  Though I assure you, if you go looking for it, you’ll find some “evidence” in your past to help support the future person you’d like to be. Evidence is often found in anything that disrupts the continuity of the story of who you are. I want to be X but I’m not a risk-taker. But there was that one time…

This is what I mean by human potential. We can’t see what we’re capable of or imagine a bigger, bolder, happier (insert your dream “-er” here) life for ourselves by looking backwards.

And we limit ourselves, too, when we look to past models about how to live and mistake them for the only options. When we overlay past models onto our paths we take a personal, winding road and turning it into a superhighway. A pre-mapped venture rather than the organic, wild adventure that will occur when we’re looking through the windshield and keep moving forward, no matter how far we can see or how clear the view.

* Marshall McLuhan’s “Rearview Mirror Syndrome” metaphor as described by Neil Postman in Teaching as a Subversive Activity (also in the running for one of my favorite books of all time).

Photo is from my personal vault.

(de)LIBERATE yourself.

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I’ve been thinking, writing and talking about some version of deliberate living for a while. Sometimes I call it choice-full living, conscious living, living on purpose, intentional living. I also love Chris Guillebeau’s conception of these similar ideas—he calls it the Art of Non-Conformity. It's true, living deliberately is a non-conformist act.

The main reason I chose to use the world deliberate is because of what is contained within it—deLIBERATE.

Living intentionally and being choice-full about our decisions, actions, and behaviors liberates us from the status quo and from acting in accordance with amorphous but well understood societal expectations we may or may not resonate with.

Being in touch with our deepest values, frees our mindspace from drama, worry, anxiety, confusion, and angst that are often brought on trying to “live up” to expectations that we ourselves never consciously chose for ourselves. These are replaced by a mindful awareness of what’s most important to us, which guides us along choice by choice, moment by moment, and which grows in parallel to our conviction to act in alignment with our beliefs.

Guided by an internal compass, we are free from trying to follow the single route on the societal map to success—a sadly one-size-fits-all formula for a population of wildly unique individuals.

 Photo Credit: Walt Stoneburner

The Good Life.

I lived for two summers in a beautiful and surprisingly lively (for population 63!)  remote mountain town in central Idaho. I was a part of the influx of seasonal summer staffers, the majority of whom worked on the Salmon River as raft guides (I was a cook). Since business is weather-dependent and summer only lasts so long, the work in town was condensed into an intense three or four month period. We worked hard. But most folks also played hard. Really hard. And as we were drinking beers with our feet dangling in the beautiful mountain lakes or river with the sound of bluegrass music playing in the background, it was inevitable that someone said, "Ahhhh. The good life." Or "livin' the dream!"

I am quite fond of those particular moments of camaraderie, relaxation after 10 hours of hot and heavy kitchen work, and taking in scenes of unparalleled beauty. However in my head there was a caveat..."the good life...for now..." I felt like there was more out there. Especially in terms of what I can contribute. I've been privy to tremendous blessings in my life. Sure it feels awesome to soak all that in and live in a bliss bubble. But there's been a nagging feeling that I'm meant to be doing more.

Even before my adventures in Idaho, I thought quite a lot about a life well lived—what that means, what that looks like. On the path to finding answers, I got a B.A. in Sociology, went to graduate school to investigate further and dropped out of graduate school to investigate even further in the school of life.

Philosophers, psychologist, sociologist, and lay people tend to agree on the components of "the good life".

To live the good life, we basically need two things:

·      good relationships or love and

·      meaningful work which I think of as a sense of contribution plus purpose or meaning

As I’ve learned though my daily practice with meditation, simple and easy are far from one and the same.

This opens up a whole host of questions about how to cultivate good relationships. How do we connect in meaningful ways with people? And questions about purpose. What is meaningful work and how do we find or create it? How do we know what our purpose is? Or worse, what if we know our purpose(s) and can’t see how it could possibly ever support meeting our material needs?

Much of the reason driving this blog and my writings, are reflections on my experiences and experiments with striving for a live well lived. I’m so happy you’re joining me on this adventure, and I sure do hope you find some benefit here.

Photo Credit: jasoneppink