Rearview Mirror Syndrome

“…(Marshall McLuhan) contends that most of us are incapable of understanding the impact of new media because we are like drivers whose gaze is fixed not on where we are going but on where we came from. It is not even a matter of seeing through the windshield but darkly. We are seeing clearly enough, but we are looking in the rearview mirror.”*

The usefulness and insight of this metaphor extends well beyond new media.

It is one of the ways we get stuck on the path to a more deliberate and happier life. We see ourselves and our corner of the world through the rearview mirror.

Looking through the rearview mirror, we see or create continuity in our lives, firming up a dynamic self often in ways that do not serve us. When we keep looking backward, it is easy to get stuck in who we’ve been, what we’ve done, and what we’ve had. We start to think this is who we are, what we’re capable of and what we deserve. Period.

What about looking forward through the windshield and imagining new possibilities for ourselves and our lives, challenging ourselves to be, do or have more than we have been, done or had in the past? Even in the absence of “evidence” from our lived experience that this is possible.  Though I assure you, if you go looking for it, you’ll find some “evidence” in your past to help support the future person you’d like to be. Evidence is often found in anything that disrupts the continuity of the story of who you are. I want to be X but I’m not a risk-taker. But there was that one time…

This is what I mean by human potential. We can’t see what we’re capable of or imagine a bigger, bolder, happier (insert your dream “-er” here) life for ourselves by looking backwards.

And we limit ourselves, too, when we look to past models about how to live and mistake them for the only options. When we overlay past models onto our paths we take a personal, winding road and turning it into a superhighway. A pre-mapped venture rather than the organic, wild adventure that will occur when we’re looking through the windshield and keep moving forward, no matter how far we can see or how clear the view.

* Marshall McLuhan’s “Rearview Mirror Syndrome” metaphor as described by Neil Postman in Teaching as a Subversive Activity (also in the running for one of my favorite books of all time).

Photo is from my personal vault.

Super hero mind powers. Or, What's the best that could happen?

“What’s the worst that could happen?”

Sometimes we ask folks this in an attempt to help them see that some situation won’t be that bad. What’s the worst that could happen? You’re not going to die.

The problem with this question, is that we start thinking about the worst that could happen. All our mental energy goes to creating a list (no matter how outrageous) of terrifying possibilities. And we make it easy for ourselves to get stuck right here.

I could die. I probably won’t but I could. Or I might embarrass myself and just want to die. I could lose my job, not be able to provide for my family and…yada yada yada.

I’ve gotta give it to us, we are skilled in the art of possibility creation.

Some folks call this imagination. It’s one of our super-hero mind powers.

And taking a cue from all the good super heroes, we ought to use it for good, not evil. Use your super-hero mind power to fight the crime in your mind.

Ok, so it’s not a crime to think up terrifying possibilities, but it is a darn shame given that we can use the same incredible power to think up exciting, motivating, and inspiring possibilities.

Instead ask, “What’s the best that could happen?” 

Photo Credit: >Rooners

(de)LIBERATE yourself.

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I’ve been thinking, writing and talking about some version of deliberate living for a while. Sometimes I call it choice-full living, conscious living, living on purpose, intentional living. I also love Chris Guillebeau’s conception of these similar ideas—he calls it the Art of Non-Conformity. It's true, living deliberately is a non-conformist act.

The main reason I chose to use the world deliberate is because of what is contained within it—deLIBERATE.

Living intentionally and being choice-full about our decisions, actions, and behaviors liberates us from the status quo and from acting in accordance with amorphous but well understood societal expectations we may or may not resonate with.

Being in touch with our deepest values, frees our mindspace from drama, worry, anxiety, confusion, and angst that are often brought on trying to “live up” to expectations that we ourselves never consciously chose for ourselves. These are replaced by a mindful awareness of what’s most important to us, which guides us along choice by choice, moment by moment, and which grows in parallel to our conviction to act in alignment with our beliefs.

Guided by an internal compass, we are free from trying to follow the single route on the societal map to success—a sadly one-size-fits-all formula for a population of wildly unique individuals.

 Photo Credit: Walt Stoneburner

You can('t) teach an old brain new tricks.

 

You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.

It’d be a slightly less catchy, but still very cultural relevant to say “you can’t teach an old brain new tricks.” Lots of us hope hard that things can be different for us, but our habits are so engrained that it feels impossible to make a change. And young folks aren’t exempt. As a late-twenties gal, I’ve heard this sentiment echoed by my peers. That’s just the way I am, we say.

But it’s not the way you have to be.

This is what we're learning from the field of Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB). I love IPNB because it appeals to the badass-nerdy-scholar in me through its exploration how our brains and minds (inextricable linked) are shaped and reshaped by our own thoughts and by cultural influences. 

And guess what? This “shaping” never stops. Ever. You can teach an old brain (or any brain) new tricks.We are capable of making new neural connections whether we’re 8 or 80.

Brains are awesome.

And the extent to which this is true is, well, mind blowing.

“The number of possible combinations of 100 billion neurons (the number in your brain) firing or not is approximately 10 to the millionth power, or 1 followed by a million zeros, in principle; this is the number of possible states of your brain. To put this quantity in perspective, the number of atoms in the universe is estimated to be “only” about 10 to the eightieth power.”

You don’t have to be a brain scientist to recognize that’s a lot of opportunity.

Given this, you might be wondering why we end up acting in habitual ways when so many other possibilities abound. Or how we got like we are in the first place given the intricacies of the brain. Good wonderings. I'll explore IPNB and it’s relationship to human potential, personal growth, and living more deliberately in coming posts.

And if you just can’t wait, I highly recommend reading The Buddha’s Brain:The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love & Wisdom by Dr’s. Rick Hanson and Richard Mendius which is also the source of the quote above.

Photo Credit: hawkexpress