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Know thy self. Through this, know others. This
is so because we share the same fundamental needs as humans.
·
At the core of these needs is a need to be
treated with real consideration as a complex human being.
·
Do this for yourself first and you can begin
extend the practice to others. This is compassion. (Or what we could call an
expanded edition of the “Golden Rule.”)
·
If/when we take this seriously, we will
fundamentally alter our lived experience. By extension, we will alter how we
are in the world and those around us.
·
Our cumulative choices and decisions we make
each moment of each day, taken together, form the lives we now know and the
person we are.
·
However, the choices we make are not wholly our
own. We can recognize that we are influenced by a myriad of outside influences,
some of which operate on an unconscious level (we are not aware of them).
·
Despite outside influences and conditions, we
can change our choices and decisions.
·
Apart from outside influences, we have an
intrinsic knowing. An intuitive sense. We can develop our ability be in touch
with this.
·
Many people want to live more fulfilling,
happier lives and are unaware of how to go about doing so.
·
A fruitful starting point is with the awareness
of our own feelings and internal states.
·
Our feelings and internal states are directly
accessible to us. (Though some need practice in accessing them). They provide
information about our values and highest needs.
·
When we know the answers to the following
questions, guidelines emerge for how to live a good life (also called virtuous
life, fulfilling life, meaningful life, happy life):
o What
matters? (Bring this down to the level of needs.)
o What
do I most highly value? Answer this for a)right now and b) in general
o What
kind of a world do I want to see?
o What
actions and behaviors can I do right now, that contribute to these things?
·
Living in integrity means making choices that
are in alignment with your values.
·
This is not black or white (I am living in full
integrity. I am not living in full integrity): We move closer to or further
from living in alignment with our values with each choice we make or action we
take.
·
Feelings of disconnection and discontent point
us to areas of misalignment. Extend gratitude to them as they are a starting
point for realigning.
·
We can use disconnection and discontent as
opportunities to turn inward. We can make sense of our discontent and connect
with our disconnection.
·
We
then make new strategies with our increased understanding and move further into
alignment. We resolve to do things differently and we take action on this
resolve.
·
This is a process. You will never arrive, but
can learn to enjoy the journey.
·
This is not an abstract idea. You can begin at
any time with any choice, behavior, or decision no matter how “small.”
·
If it helps, remember that there are others who
feel as you feel, desire meaningful and fuller lives, and struggle with how to
get there. There are two times when I find this practice particularly useful:
o When
I feel alone in my efforts or when I feel misunderstood.
o When
I encounter difficult situations and need to stimulate feelings of
compassion. Do you know anyone at
all who doesn’t want to be happy?
